... and numb as it may be I can still feel it.
It makes me think... maybe that is precisely why we understand each other, although I have never managed to decrypt its beautiful whispers. But I can hear it, I can feel its sharpness or softness, I can guess that it is there, everywhere. But it can't push a ship on sand, can it now?
I look around and everywhere I used to see flowers I can only see barren bodies of barren people with barren minds. Contrary to my own belief, one does sail among waves of people in life. Loneliness is the dessert of one's life. I see the oasis but I cannot touch it. I am not allowed to. People won't let me....
Then he said "people are egoistic, you must understand..."; what if I can't? I don't have the means necessary to permeate the meaning of such abomination. We cannot be what we are not. We cannot learn it. I, at least, can't...
And yes, there was a time when I tried... it may have been then that my sails became torn, and that may be why the wind will blow through my mind, penetrate my thoughts and leave me behind more furiously than my very despair. Oh, God, I have not yet learned to be part of people! I may know how to hate, but I don't know how to hang on to hatred... and in such moments, I need it more than the barren ground needs water! How can not hating be so painful?
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